So and so got their dream job, so and so has traveled all around the world, so and so has... zero problems and lives a carefree life.
Thanks to these constant messages we receive whether through social media, friends, and lets not even talk about family… the main message is clear.
You have to be successful.
If you’re not, something must be wrong with you, right?
It might seem a bit extreme, but let’s be real here and get to the root of the negative self talk we all experience at one point or another in our lives.
So, today we are going to keep it casual, short, and sweet and most of all—to the point.
Because I don’t about you but I, am over this constant message floating in my mind.
If you have or are currently experiencing the same, my friend, no it’s not just you.
Alright, so what even is “success” and why must we become it?
As defined by our trusty Webster’s Dictionary:
the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.
"I must make a success of my business"
Pretty straight forward right? “The accomplishment of an aim or purpose.”
Here’s the thing though, the actual definition didn’t go something like, “the accomplishment of”:
Having a successful career
Starting a business
Traveling around the world
Becoming a public figure
Having the latest and most expensive car
Being married and having kids by a certain age
Etc, etc, etc.
Can all of these things make you feel successful? Sure.
Do they have to? Not at all. At this point, what do we do?
So then, why on Earth do we keep putting all of this pressure onto ourselves and our loved ones to be any of these things (or others not listed above) that don’t feel true to them?
Why do we succumb so willingly to what society, friends, family, etc. project onto us?
See, the real question here is very very simple.
What makes you, not anybody else just you, feel… happy?
What makes you feel inner peace? What makes you feel excited? What makes you feel like you’re on top of the world?
Regardless, if you have accomplished said aim or purpose or, are still on your way.
The truth is that it isn’t complicated, it’s our human mind and limiting beliefs that make it feel that way.
It can be as simple as:
Listening to music
Going to the beach
Spending quality time with family and friends
Pursuing that thing that makes you light up every time you work on it.
Now, don’t get me wrong.
Will traveling, being financially free, growing a business you love, and investing in assets that make sense to you also make you successful?
Of course, those things are definitely on my long term goals list.
The thing is, that just because I haven’t gotten there just yet, doesn’t mean that I’m not successful now.
Okay, if you are reading this while nodding your head yet thinking, “Is it that simple?”, first of all, yes—it is.
Although, it does take practice to make this a consistent enough thought pattern to replace the one that has clouded your self limiting thoughts.
1: Listen to yourself. Your thoughts are messages from your intuition.
No matter what you believe in when it comes to faith, we all have a brain. We all have thoughts that form patterns, both positive and negative ones.
At the end of the day, it is up to us and only us to make the choice in which to believe.
This is not to say that we should block out all negative thoughts rather, to become mindful as to how we choose to react to them. To believe in the negative self-talk or to send it back to where it came from, you know?
Learning and practicing to trust your gut, is the most real way to learn how to trust yourself, and therefore go for the things you want to go for, not what you think you’re supposed to go for.
On that note…2: Follow your fear.
Are you afraid of your fear? Yeah, well, me too.
Who knows, maybe most of us are. The important thing to remember is to not let it bully you.
See, fear is the voice of our ego. Our ego can be our biggest ally in terms of wanting to keep us safe yet, our biggest enemy when it wants to confine us into a small little box, lock it and throw away the key.
For a very long time, I was okay with being locked in that little box. I even made it comfortable to live in as I decorated it with all kinds of thoughts that stemmed from self-doubt.
What ends up happening though? One day, you just get tired. Your legs fall asleep, you suddenly wish you had more room to breath, and start to desperately look for the damn key.
And sometimes, it takes forever to find it.
So, if this is you, congrats on searching and hopefully now finding the key!
Congrats on wanting to unlock it, stretch your legs, and take a step forward.
Because rather than hiding from your fear you are no ready to follow it, and let it guide you to your truest and most authentic self.
So dear reader, what’s it gonna be?
Will you keep hiding from your personally crafted recipe for success and let fear keep bullying you?
Will you finally take a stand for yourself and start to move forward in the person you know deserve to be?
The person your intuition is so desperately trying to make you see?
The choice is yours, no one else’s.
And if anybody tries to tell you differently, then send them light to help them overcome their own set of limiting beliefs.
Personally, if 2020 has taught me anything, is that life will keep being life no matter how much we try to control a specific outcome.
Instead, follow along, adapt, but also take control of your life by taking a step into your light.
In a nutshell:
What even is success and why do we always feel pressured to reach it?
Why success isn’t a one size fits all.
How to listen to your gut to reach your definition of success.
Why following your fear rather than avoiding it, is a key step.
I’m curious, how will start embracing your fear and let it lead you to success?
You’ve got this.
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“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.”
Yasmin Vasquez is the founder and creative director of Golden Light Startup. Her mission is to empower others to always seek their passions live with purpose.